CURIOSITY
“Your curiosity is your growth point. Always.”
— Danielle LaPorte
For those of us who are passionate about the field of Positive Psychology, the science is clear: the best way to a happy, fulfilled life is through deep social relationships.
We all know that, intuitively, right?
When we have honest, vulnerable, connected experiences with other people, we feel grounded. Supported. Authentic.
Alive.
When we have positive relationships with our family, friends, co-workers … we can safely and courageously grow. Through our many Scare Your Soul challenges, we have found that brave experiences with others gets strengthened just like a muscle. The more we practice, the better we get. And, in our view, the key that unlocks new and deeper connections with others starts with curiosity.
STEPH DARR, AMBASSADOR
What would life look like if we weren’t curious?
What would your world-view be if you stopped learning at the age of five? If our learning stopped at age 5? Hard to imagine, right? Then why do so many people stop being curious when they hit a stage of adulthood? As if listening to other viewpoints, trying new things, accepting new ways makes us weak or lesser? Why do we stop being curious?
Curiosity doesn’t mean agreeing.
It means passionately loving learning a thought that we hadn’t had before. It means we hold the belief that we are better – not worse – for delving deeply into someone else’s life rather than trumpeting our own.
Curiosity means opening up ourselves to others.
When we truly SEE someone, we validate their unique humanity. Curiosity is that doorway. We listen rather than tell. We learn rather than instruct. And that, in turn, allows for the other person to do the same back to us. When we take the first step into courageous curiosity, we start the cycle of connection.
Your SYS Curiosity Challenge is…
BUY COFFEE FOR A STRANGER
From our very beginning, this challenge has been a perennial favorite of our Scare Your Soul participants. And for good reason.
This challenge is so deceptively simple, yet pushes so many of our socially-conditioned buttons. It encourages real, authentic conversation in a boundary-pushing way. There is this delicious sense of anticipation before it happens, and (usually!) a glow of connection and pride when it’s over.
Before you begin… We encourage you to print out this challenge’s worksheet so that you can write down your thoughts as you go.
First Steps
Set a time when you will tackle this challenge. You have the bravery. Feel all of the feelings that arise with it.
Doing It
Your first goal is to ask the person in line behind you at your coffee house of choice if you could buy them a coffee. We often recommend that you tell the person that you are doing a Scare Your Soul challenge, and that buying them a coffee is fulfilling your own personal challenge.
If they decline, try it again next time. But if they accept, GAME ON!
Your second goal is to have some form of authentic conversation with them. They may ask about Scare Your Soul, or why you are choosing to do this challenge. If they don’t ask them a question.
Ask about how their day is going. Or what they plan to do this weekend. What they do for a living, their favorite hobby. If you want to get really bold, ask them one thing that they fear which is holding them back; give them some encouragement to take one step towards tackling it.
This is your opportunity to really connect. We know it is hard, but it is amazing when it happens.
Thanking and sharing
Even though YOU bought the coffee, thank your new friend for the opportunity. Most likely, they will do something today that will pay your good deed forward in some way.
And, if you wish, post on social media about your experience. Sharing requires bravery for most of us, but when we do it, we INSPIRE others. Encourage your friends to do the same thing you’ve just done. Start a viral cycle of courageous goodness. And don’t forget to tag @scareyoursoul!
A quick note: If you liked this challenge, the new Scare Your Soul book has an entire chapter on how to practice curious connection It features inspiring stories, the science behind curiosity, more in-depth writing prompts and lots of real-world challenges.
If you are interested in sharing your experience, e-mail us at contact@scareyoursoul.com
But the prime beneficiary of the challenge is YOU. What did you get out of this experience? What buttons did it push that was challenging? Did it spur you on to do another one?
Ready to take it up a notch?
If you are ready, we encourage you to do a week of Scaring Your Soul.
For the next seven days, “do one thing that scares you.” That means one thing every day where you intentionally push a comfort zone. Your act can be tiny. Baby steps. But at least once every day, take action.
-
- Call one person you are avoiding
- Do something that ramps up your sense of spirituality, or take 15 minutes to meditate
- Reconnect with an old friend you haven’t spoken to in ages
- Try a brand new physical practice, or move your body in a new and challenging way
- Eat vegan or plant-based for a day, or commit to being sober when you would normally drink
- Have an honest conversation with someone you care about
Whatever it is for YOU. But they key: DO IT.
Ready to take it up a notch?
If you are ready, we encourage you to do a week of Scaring Your Soul.
For the next seven days, “do one thing that scares you.” That means one thing every day where you intentionally push a comfort zone. Your act can be tiny. Baby steps. But at least once every day, take action.
-
- Call one person you are avoiding
- Do something that ramps up your sense of spirituality, or take 15 minutes to meditate
- Reconnect with an old friend you haven’t spoken to in ages
- Try a brand new physical practice, or move your body in a new and challenging way
- Eat vegan or plant-based for a day, or commit to being sober when you would normally drink
- Have an honest conversation with someone you care about
Whatever it is for YOU. But they key: DO IT.
Moving Forward - A Message From Scott Simon
Hello dear friend!
I want to offer my personal congratulations on starting your own Scare Your Soul journey. We all – no matter our background – have the human right to live the best life. One full of love, connection, joy. And, in my view, the key that unlocks that life is one word: courage.
I am so proud that Scare Your Soul offers free weekly challenges that will push you in all kinds of powerful ways. But – in reality – you don’t need our challenges to lead your boldest life. You just need to continue to tackle the small-but-brave acts that are meaningful to YOU.
Try this: In your mind, fast forward to one one year from today. What would your life look and be like if you chose to do one thing every day that scared you?
- What kind of new experiences will you have?
- What kind of real, vulnerable interactions will you have with loved ones?
- What ideas will you have that you will courageously share with others?
- What growth will you have in your work or communal life?
- What kind of role-modeling will you do for kids, grand-kids, or family members?
When we all adopt a Scare Your Soul attitude, we open doors to our lives. We often don’t know what will be on the other side. And that is delicious. To me, that is what life is all about.
So, starting TODAY, don’t let those petty, self-generated fears stop you. You have every right to an audacious, amazing life. The one you were destined to lead.
Best wishes on your journey ahead. Sending you lots of courage.
-Scott
PS: Send me any questions or comments any time at scott@scareyoursoul.com – I try my best to answer each and every one.
