I’ve always known I was bisexual. And in today’s day and age, it’s really no biggie. But for years I beat myself up about my orientation – and to this day I’ve only ever dated men.
My Scare Your Soul challenge was more internal. It was to fully accept myself and to tell others – besides my super close friends. So I did – and as it turns out, there are so many other thirty-somethings, like me, that are just coming out as bi or figuring things out about themselves. I feel a sense of solidarity. It’s important for me to be open now, regardless of whom I date or whom I’m attracted to (and even if I end up in a hetero-normative relationship) because I don’t want any future kids hating themselves or suffering internally, as I did. If anything else, I’m saying what I’m saying so that my inner child knows she will always be loved. And in June 2022, at age 39, I finally told my parents. I was so fearful of what their reaction might be — would they look at me differently? Love me any less? My wonderful parents received me with unconditional love.
I’ve also started to share more publicly about being HSV2 positive (genital herpes), which I got the night I lost my virginity in 2005. Navigating the dating world isn’t easy, period. But with an STD? It’s a Wild West out there. I take daily medication and haven’t had an outbreak in over a decade but I feel a sense of moral obligation to disclose my status to potential partners. To try something new — and really scare my soul — I include my STD status on my dating profiles and remove all emotion out of the disclosure. “Just telling you I have HSV2, I take daily meds, and it’s really not that big of a deal. Ask me anything!” I have fewer matches now but the ones I do get, I feel more empowered about.
I celebrated 15 years of being a booze-free babe in July of 2022 and choosing to embark on a path of sobriety was the most infinitely massive way of scaring my soul in 2007. It continues to be the best decision I ever made.
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